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Colonel Baker (Confessions of a Wasteland Pony)
Colonel Baker is an antagonist in the audio drama Confessions of a Wasteland Pony. His story is told by Freezie in the sixth episode, The Ice Mare. Biography Fort Deadtree Colonel Baker was born into the Equestrian Army Chemical Corps around 140 years after The Great War. Like all soldiers in their isolated society, Baker was raised with a heavy focus on biology, chemistry, and medicine. In order to rise into the higher officer ranks of their society, they had to achieve a full "doctorate" level education. Baker struggled with his chemistry classes in particular, and it was only because of a classmate named Meadowbrook that he was able to pass and gain the rank of Major. In their time spent together they began developing romantic feelings. This would only intensify as they made it onto the special operations team of the current Colonel leading Fort Deadtree. This was around the time the Chemical Corps uncovered an Ivory Laboratories research station with a safe in the back room. The safe contained a very powerful Encryption Codex. The security codes found on the Codex made it a veritable skeleton key that could unlock almost any EAST Corp computer system they came across. This key unlocked several hidden files at the few sites they already explored and vastly opened up many more possible locations. Colonel Baker was skilled with terminals, and dived down into the available files more than most. Eventually it was uncovered where the Ivory Labs executive, Nosio, had stored the full Selective Organic Re-Agent formula. It was in Heartfield. Heartfield The Chemical Corps had avoided the city for decades. Tens of thousands of ghouls filled the streets and buildings, attracted to the high radiation levels left by the direct megaspell hits. While they knew the Ivory Labs HQ was located there, early attempts to enter had all failed. Worst of all, the building itself had been flooded with the Re-Agent. It was some kind of security system, which had also killed all of the occupants inside. With the skeleton key in their possession, the Colonel at the time ordered Baker, Meadowbrook, and the rest of the elite squad to secure an access point to the building. The team did their best to clear the main courtyard in front of the tower, but suffered too many casualties. Meadowbrook was killed by ghouls, and the loss only intensified Baker's hatred of ghouls and focus on the mission of the Equestrian Army Chemical Corps. In a short time, Baker's strong personality was able to force him up higher through the ranks and he was soon positioned as the new Colonel. Baker was more scientifically minded than his predecessor and spent much more time diving through the detailed data they'd been uncovering from the Ivory Labs facilities. It seemed to speak to him in a way no others could understand. Eventually, he discovered a new revelation. The Re-Agent was built on the same basic compound as a medical experiment that Ivory Labs had carried out. The frozen, deformed creatures the Chem Troopers had occasionally found at the Ivory Labs sites were immune to the effects of the Re-Agent. They spent years slowly opening the tanks, trying to find one of these "Biotype Accelerant" test subjects who could live long enough to infiltrate the Ivory Labs Headquarters. This proved difficult, because as soon as they were thawed from cryogenic stasis they would mutate at a rapid rate and eventually die. At the same time, the reactors of the facilities began self-destructing after failing to find a test subject. The explosions were suspicious, and Colonel Baker thought they were being sabotaged. Baker organized several missions with volunteer Chem Troopers, who attempted to infiltrate the building with their most advanced hazmat suits. None of them ever returned. They feared the Re-Agent was still leaking into the suit somehow. They were likely being shot by turrets or that the Re-Agent had also mixed with caustic chemicals that were burning through the suits. All seemed lost, until Baker uncovered another piece of data from a recently found location. It pointed to a hospital far away in the Northern Crystal Commonwealth. There was supposedly a test subject there that was showing great promise, Captain Frozen Peaks. Colonel Baker decided the risk was worth it, and gathered a team to make the very long flight to the Northwest of them. Quotes * "The war ended, Captain, and everything else ended with it. It wasn’t too much longer after your accident. We can only assume that is why you were not awoken back then. Things finally reached a breaking point. Any of your friends or family might have been okay if they ended up in a Stable, but even so they’ve been dead for over a century. Those Stables held out for a while, but most of them failed in one way or another. They’re basically all gone by this point… just more empty, barren relics from before the war. Fort Deadtree is one of the few places that has really survived… really thrived... despite what the surface has become. You would think after nearly 200 years we would have been able to rebuild, start a new age and new civilization. As terrible as the megaspells were, they are no different than 5 or 6 other global cataclysms that have happened in the past. We survived through all of those, and continued to advance. But instead, we are still mostly confined to places like this, still hiding in relative isolation as the world continues to exist as the wasteland it is. We are forced to rummage through the scraps of the old world for basic supplies. But frustrating as it is, we have done just that, because the Equestrian Army Chemical Corps do not stop. We know more than anyone that the only constant... is change… And we were determined to change, to adapt, to see this cataclysm through." - Freezie (quoting Colonel Baker's speech) Behind The Scenes * Colonel Baker as a character takes inspiration from the position of Colonel Augustus Autumn from Fallout 3. However, as a sociopathic medical-adjacent character, he draws inspiration from Dr. Gregory House as well. Category:EAST Corp Productions Category:Confessions of a Wasteland Pony Category:Characters (Confessions of a Wasteland Pony)